Gravity (Destiel)
by canadianhannah
Summary: It's 2008 and Dean's stuck in Hell. An angel named Castiel grips him tight and raises him from perdition, only to take him to an in-between world to test him before he can go back to his brother. While there, Dean and Castiel become closer than expected...but will Dean remember it when he goes back home? [LEMON, SMUT, BAD LANGUAGE AND FLUFFY CUTE ANGEL/HUNTER LOVE]
1. Chapter 1

**JULY 2008.**

**One: Hell.**

I looked at the broken souls stuck behind their cages as I walked slowly through the corridors of Hell. Maddened, horrifying screeches filled and rung in my ears as I kept my eyes downcast and searched for him.  
I didn't even know what he looked like, but I knew I had to release him, and I hoped I'd know what his soul looked like when I saw it.  
"Dean Winchester" someone called. I jumped slightly and pressed my back against the wall, praying that they wouldn't see me. I saw two demons roughly grab a man and push him to his knees on the stone floor in front of them. He looked to be in his twenties, and I could see his soul was a light yellow colour with dashes of blue through it, meaning that it was still bright and pure, but it had also seen some horrible, ugly, dreadful things. I immediately felt a great amount of respect for him, for it is difficult for people to keep their souls mostly pure in the face of horror and fear, especially when they're in Hell. Physically, though, once I stopped looking into Dean's soul, I realized that he was quite an attractive male with his short, spiked brown hair and his bright green eyes. I felt saddened when I looked into his eyes, because I couldn't help but wonder all the horrors they'd seen. Although I was told to save Dean, I didn't know much about him, and I made a mental note to ask him about himself once he was free.  
But first I had to free him. Quietly, I followed the demons as they dragged Dean to a room at the end of the corridor, and slipped in quickly before they could shut the door. As they were too busy binding Dean to the wall, I managed to hide in a corner, practically invisible to everyone. The room stank of blood, sweat, human waste and vomit, and it nearly made me gag. I looked up at Dean and saw tears running down his face as he shook violently from the force of his sobs. I knew then that I _had _to get him out of here, if it was the last thing I did. My thoughts were cut off by a demon walking arrogantly into the room; his soul was black with red, pulsating blobs on it. I wrinkled my nose – he was disgusting.  
"Alastair." Dean sneered when the demon stood in front of him; it was clear that Dean shared my low opinion of him. Alastair smiled and grabbed Dean's jaw harshly.  
"Dean, Dean, Dean." He murmured. I could tell Dean was trying to keep the look of disgust off his face.  
"Are you ready for your first appointment?" Alastair murmured. Dean let out a deep sob as a reply, and Alastair unlocked the chains that were binding him.  
"Put your gloves on, dear. Wouldn't want you to get dirty." He said as he swaggered out of the room. Dean unwillingly snapped the gloves over his hands and waited, tears running down his cheeks. I longed to touch him and drag him out of here immediately, but I knew I had to be careful – Crowley couldn't know that I was here. Moments later, a young girl of about eighteen was flung to the floor in front of him. Dean calmly raised her to her feet and chained her to the wall where he had been moments earlier. My stomach turned as I realized the scene in front of me. _Don't do it, Dean._  
"Please, please no." the girl whimpered.  
"Clare…" Dean groaned.  
"You don't have to do this, Dean." She whispered, her voice trembling. Dean didn't say a word as he picked up a small dagger and dragged it across the dark skin of her chest. She gritted her teeth and groaned in pain.  
"Dean, no." she panted. Dean shoved the dagger into her stomach and twisted it hard, causing her to spit up blood. He did this a few times before throwing the dagger away from him, almost in disgust, before picking up a long metal rod and a lighter.  
"D-dean…" she sighed as he heated up the rod, before he shoved it into her chest, burning a hole through her lungs.  
"You son of a _bitch_." She hissed. Dean ignored her and threw a vial of holy water over her, making her hiss in pain, her eyes flicking to black. Dean filled a needle with holy water and injected it into her chest, making her rise up away from the wall, her body flopping limply.  
"Stop." She breathed as Dean shoved another needle into her, causing her to scream in pain. Dean had just filled another needle with holy water when Alastair came back in, smiling.  
"Good job, Dean. You can go back now." He nodded. Dean looked Clare in the eyes and touched her arm.  
"I'm sorry." He breathed, and it seemed so sincere that it threw me off guard. To my surprise, Clare smiled.  
"It's okay, Dean. I understand." She wheezed as two demons dragged her back into her cage, before coming back and dragging Dean away, too.

I had to wait for Alastair to leave before I was able to creep out of the foul-smelling room and back to the wall that was adjacent to Dean's cage. From my spot, I saw him fall to the floor and sob, whispering the name "Sam" over and over again. My heart sunk, but I knew I had to wait until the moment was perfect before I could get him out. While I was waiting, however, I figured that there would be no harm in walking around Hell for a bit. I'd never been there before, and I knew it was unlikely that I'd ever willingly go back. Although the cells containing witches and devil-worshippers made me sad, the ones that saddened me the most were the cages that contained humans with nearly pure souls, like Dean's. These, I assumed, had made deals with crossroad demons. I was very intrigued and extremely curious about their stories, and nearly asked some of them, but I knew I couldn't. To talk to prisoners was to call attention to myself, and as I'd already mentioned, Crowley couldn't know I was here. It was while I was searching through cages that I saw him. Although I didn't recognize his face, his soul looked almost identical to Dean's.  
"John Winchester?" I asked solemnly. John smiled wearily at me.  
"You come to torture me?" he asked calmly. I looked at him and pity and reached through the bars to him, holding his hand softly.  
"No, Mr. Winchester, I am Castiel, an angel of the Lord." I said quietly. John just stared at me with the same, tired smile.  
"Go talk to Dean. He's the one that needs an angel right now."  
"That's why I'm here. I'm here to save your son." I announced. John's eyes widened and he gaped at me for a few moments before collecting himself.  
"I don't understand. Why? Why my boy?"  
"I don't understand it either, but we need to get Dean out. I need your help." I whispered. Although I hadn't set out to find John Winchester, he was the answer to a troubling question – how to get Dean to follow me.  
"How can I help?" he asked eagerly, and I couldn't help but smile at the loyalty he had for his son.  
"How do I convince Dean to follow me?" I asked. John thought for a second before ripping a piece of paper out of his notebook and scribbling out a note with a piece of sharpened lead.  
"Give him this if he gives you any trouble, and he's yours."  
"Thank you."  
"Take care of my boy."  
"I will. I promise. And I'll try to come back for you." I vowed. John dismissed the proposition.  
"No, don't. Just worry about getting my son back and safe." He said firmly. I squeezed his forearm lightly before making the journey back to Dean's cage, making sure to hide behind walls and in the shadows when I saw a demon coming my way.

By the time I made it back to Dean's cage, he was already asleep on the floor. I felt a rush of power and breathed deeply – it was time. I used my grace to shine a small light into Dean's cage, just bright enough to wake him up.  
"Wh-what?" Dean murmured, getting to his feet and looking at me fearfully. I stepped forward and smiled warmly at the fear in his face. I wanted to make sure he never felt that fear again.  
"Don't be afraid, Dean, I am Castiel, an angel of the Lord. I have been sent to raise you from perdition and bring you back to your rightful place on Earth."  
"Wha-wait how did an _angel _get into Hell?" he asked, looking at me with mistrust. I smiled.  
"Very carefully."  
"But why? Why me?"  
"Dean there is a war. You know that. And you, whether you realize it or not, are a very important piece. We need you."  
"How can I trust you?"  
"Your father does."  
"My…my father? You spoke to him?"  
"I did. He told me to give you this." I said, handing Dean the note. Dean gave me the same weary smile that his Dad had and handed me the note back.  
"Okay. What do I do?" he asked. I smiled at his eagerness.  
"I need to explain some things to you. Firstly, we will not be going directly to Earth. Instead, we will be going to a sort of in-between place."  
"So purgatory?" he asked. I wrinkled my nose and suppressed a shudder.  
"No, not purgatory. It's the place between Hell, Purgatory and Heaven."  
"I don't understand."  
"It's complicated, but I need to take you there to make sure you're ready for Earth. Do you understand?"  
"I guess. Yeah. Okay."  
"When we get there, I will test you mentally and physically, to make sure you're fit to go back to your family."  
"Sam." Dean breathed, a smile stretching over his face. I nodded in acknowledgement.  
"I warn you, once we leave the in-between world, you will not remember anything except what happened before this conversation."  
"Meaning I won't remember you."  
"Precisely. All you'll know is that you were in Hell and now you're not. That will be a disorientating experience for you."  
"Why are you telling me if I won't remember?"  
"Because then you can't say that I didn't warn you." I smiled. Dean rolled his eyes.  
"So how do you get me out?"  
"Come as close as you can." I ordered, and Dean complied.  
"This might hurt." I murmured, as I wrapped my hand around his arm. The corridor around us was filled with a bright white light, and I could hear the screams of the other souls in Hell.  
And then I heard nothing and felt nothing except Dean clinging onto me tightly, his breathing rapid and jagged.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two: The in-between world.**

Dean and I landed softly in the middle of a great field, his arms still woven around my waist.  
"It's okay, Dean. You're safe." I murmured. He let go and walked around, looking at the field in wonder.  
"We're the only ones here." He gaped. I smiled.  
"Of course. It's rare that anyone ever has to come here." I explained, sitting down and running my hand through the soft grass. Dean sat next to me and looked at me with wide eyes.  
"What?" I asked softly. Dean shrugged.  
"I don't know. I just thought for an angel, you'd look more…holy…"  
I barked a laugh.  
"This is a vessel, Dean. I would have come to you in my true form, but I didn't want to startle you." I teased.  
"How long are we going to be here?" he asked, laying down and looking up at the sky.  
"Time doesn't have the same meaning here. While it may feel like years that we're here, only a few days will have passed in the real world."  
"How long was I in Hell?"  
"It felt like forty years to you. It was only two months."  
Dean looked ashamed and I smiled weakly, putting a hand on his knee as I'd seen humans do to each other before.  
"Do not be ashamed, Dean. You showed great strength."  
Dean sat up and ran a hand through his hair.  
"Yeah. Sure. Damn, I wish I had a shower here." He said gruffly. Smiling, I got to my feet and walked away from him. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, a small house stood in front of me. I turned to Dean and he gaped.  
"This is your world, for now. You can do with it what you wish." I smiled.  
"Everything I want, you can get for me?" he asked. I nodded.  
"So you're like my angel?"  
"I guess you could say that." I shrugged, motioning for Dean to enter the house. He looked happy as he searched through the rooms, finding his bedroom and flopping onto the bed. I leaned on the doorway and smiled at him.  
"We'll start the tests tomorrow. Until then, can I get you anything else?"  
"Aw, geez Castiel, I don't want to ask for too much." He murmured, but there was an unmistakable light in his eyes.  
"My powers are unlimited here. What you want is yours."  
"Well, in that case, I could really do with some pie…and a bacon cheeseburger…and some beer…and my Impala…" he said, worrying his lip with his teeth. I closed my eyes for a moment and willed them into existence.  
"The fridge is stocked with all the food you desire, your car is parked outside." I informed him before turning to leave the room.  
"Hey, Castiel?" he called. I stopped but didn't turn around.  
"Yes, Dean?"  
"Thank you. For everything." He breathed. I turned and looked at him over my shoulder.  
"It's no trouble at all. My bedroom is across the hall from yours, call me if you need me."  
"Woah, angels need to sleep?" he said, clearly shocked. I beamed at him.  
"I do here." I said before walking away. I went into my bedroom and sat down on the bed, a stampede of thoughts rushing through my brain. Dean seemed happy and content, but I wouldn't be able to know for sure until tomorrow. I heard the shower turn on and smiled softly to myself. No matter how long it took, I vowed to make sure that Dean Winchester was safe and able to go back to his family as soon as possible. I remembered the sound of Sam's voice as he prayed every night for Dean to come back, and imagined his pleasure at getting his older brother back. Dean interrupted my thoughts by appearing at my bedroom door with a towel around him and smiling.  
"What do angels eat?" he asked. I smiled.  
"We don't."  
"You do now. C'mon." he said, holding a hand out for me. I rolled my eyes and followed him out of the room as he lead me down to the kitchen. I sat down in one of the chairs as he threw a piece of pie, a bottle of beer and a burger in front of me, laying the same meal out for himself.  
"Eat it." He ordered. I took an unwilling bite of the cheeseburger, and felt my eyes widen despite myself.  
"This is good." I said simply, taking another big bite. Dean chuckled as he took a bite into the burger, and I watched proudly as he wolfed it down. He opened his beer and took a gulp, moaning slightly at the taste. I was embarrassed to find that I couldn't get the lid off of mine, and tried to hide my struggle from Dean. He laughed when he saw me and held his hand out.  
"Give it here, Cas." He murmured, taking the lid off my bottle. I turned my head and squinted at him in confusion.  
"You called me Cas."  
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry." He murmured. I smiled.  
"I liked it. It's like a…nickname."  
"I guess it is. Alright _Cas, _eat your pie." He said as he took a forkful of his own and shoveled it into his mouth. I would have been just as content to watch Dean eat, but he insisted, so I ate too. When we were finished, I cleaned up the kitchen for Dean and insisted that he go watch TV. As he stood up to leave the room, his towel fell down and pooled around his feet on the floor, exposing him to me. I hesitated only slightly before turning away, my cheeks flushing red.  
"Oh, shit. Sorry Castiel." He murmured.  
"It's okay. Go get dressed and then we can watch Tv." I said as I continued to clean the kitchen. I was confused as to why I didn't immediately turn away from Dean when he was exposed, but I put it down to my own shock at the situation and dismissed it. I finished cleaning up, so I walked into the living room to find Dean, dressed in pajama bottoms and nothing else, sitting on the floor with a bunch of DvDs sprawled in front of him.  
"Oh, man. You've got all my favourites here." He beamed. I smiled back and perched on the sofa. He picked up a movie that appeared to be about cowboys and put it into the player, taking a seat next to me.  
Although Dean seemed enthralled in the movie, I was exhausted and kept feeling my eyes drop in a fight against unconsciousness.  
My unconsciousness won.

When I awoke, my body was draped over Dean's, my head against his chest and my arms around his waist.  
"Cas, wake up." He said, shaking me softly. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, slightly disorientated.  
"W-what?" I murmured sleepily. Dean smiled softly.  
"You fell asleep. C'mon, let's go to bed." He said, taking my arm and guiding me up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, Dean pulled me into a tight hug, and I hesitated before putting my arms around him. He felt good when he was against me, and he smelled even better.  
"Thank you, Castiel."  
"I'm…I'm just doing my job." He smiled.  
"Yeah, I know. But you're being really nice about it, y'know, considering you literally had to walk into the fiery pits of Hell to retrieve my soul."  
"Well, then, I guess you owe me." I said with a light smirk, though I believe it was dulled by my sleepiness. Dean barked a laugh and hugged me again.  
"Okay, fine. That's kind of a scary thought, though."  
"What is?"  
"Owing a favour to an angel."  
"I suppose it is. Goodnight, Dean." I said, walking into my room. Dean smiled.  
"Night, Cas."

I was awoken suddenly, many hours later, by a loud noise. I peered outside and saw that it was still dark, probably not much later than 3am. I sat up in bed and listened carefully, and soon heard a loud scream of "no". I jumped to my feet and ran into Dean's room, where I saw him sitting upright, sobbing into his hands.  
"_Dean._" I breathed, just loud enough for him to hear me. He looked up at me, tears streaming down his face and blurring his green eyes.  
"Please, no. Make it stop, Castiel, make it stop." He groaned, holding his head. I gingerly walked to the bed and sat next to him, the mattress drooping under my weight.  
"Dean, what is it?" I said urgently. Dean put both his hands on my arm.  
"My head, Cas, my head. I can't stop remembering. Make it stop, Cas, please." He sobbed. Instinctively, I moved closer to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, holding him close to me as he cried into my bare chest, his body shaking.  
"It's okay, Dean. No one will ever hurt you. I'm here with you. I'll protect you."  
"Protect me, Cas." He whimpered, hugging me close to him.  
"I will."  
"Stay with me. Don't go. Please." He begged. I slid into the bed next to him and continued to hold him as he leaned against my chest and cried.  
"Stay with me." He repeated weakly.  
"I won't leave you. Be at peace, Dean." I whispered, pressing my fingers to his forehead and using my grace to heal him of his fears, and he soon collapsed into me in a peaceful sleep.  
Still I did not leave him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Three: The In-Between World.**

When I awoke again, Dean was still wrapped in my arms and our legs were tightly entwined. I smiled softly and ran a hand through his hair. He stirred under my touch and held me even more closely to him. I brushed my fingertips down his arm and over the hand-shaped bruise on his shoulder. He had not complained that it was causing him pain, yet the skin was red and puckered, and I bit my lip in guilt when I realized that I'd probably permanently scarred him. Dean moved again and this time his eyes flickered open softly.  
"Castiel?" he said, his voice confused.  
"Yes, Dean, I'm here." I murmured. He gave me a sleepy smile and touched my face delicately.  
"Thank you for not leaving." He sighed. I placed my hand over his.  
"I promised. Are you feeling better?"  
"A little bit." He said, pulling his hand from my face and putting it back around my waist.  
"What time is it?" he asked. I closed my eyes and materialized a clock on the wall across from Dean's bed. He rolled his eyes at me.  
"It's only 7. When do we have to wake up?" he asked, tucking his face into my chest. I chuckled.  
"Whenever you feel that you can, Dean."  
"Don't we have to do tests and stuff?"  
"Yes, but those can wait. You spent the equivalent of forty years in Hell, you deserve a rest."  
"Don't." Dean said in a strained whisper. I immediately cursed myself for bringing Hell up.  
"I'm sorry." I murmured. Dean snuggled into me and held me closer to him. It felt unusual, because I'd never known any contact like this, but at the same time, it felt nice and roused pleasant feelings in me. When I responded to Dean by gently rubbing circles into his shoulders, it felt more like my vessel leading me than me actually doing anything myself.  
"Is this weird?" Dean asked suddenly.  
"Is what weird?"  
"This. Us cuddling or whatever. I just met you, and I'm not much of a cuddler anyway…"  
"I admit, it is unusual for me to share such a profound bond with you after only knowing you for a small amount of time, but it does not feel weird. It feels pleasant."  
"It does for me, too. I don't remember the last time I was this peaceful."  
"That's probably my grace soothing you."  
"No, Cas, it's _you _soothing me." He sighed. I felt a strange flutter in my stomach at his words, but I dismissed it as my vessel's emotions coming through and clouding my own views – after all, he was used to this kind of interaction, I wasn't.  
"Are you hungry?" I asked. Dean rolled away from me and onto his back, trapping my arm beneath him while I rested the other arm on his bare stomach.  
"A little bit, yeah. I can wait though." He said almost urgently, peeking up at me. I laughed and pulled away from him, sitting up.  
"It's okay, Dean, we can…we can do this later, I guess. If you want. I think we should get up now, though." I murmured, sliding out of bed. My legs shook a little bit, which I hid by leaning against the doorframe and smiling at Dean. Dean groaned and got to his feet, stretching as he did. I couldn't help but admire his physique and the way his shoulder muscles swelled when he raised his arms. He turned towards me while I was analyzing him and I looked away sharply, a blush spreading over my cheeks.  
"Do angels need to shower?" Dean asked, cocking his head to the side. I beamed at him.  
"No, we do not. However, we don't usually have to eat or sleep either, so I suppose that maybe I do here."  
Dean clapped his hands together.  
"Okay, well if you get a shower, I'll just get dressed and make breakfast." Dean resolved. I closed my eyes, and I knew that when Dean went downstairs, he'd find all the necessary food and equipment needed to make any breakfast dish of his choice. Dean evidently knew what I was doing because he smiled and clapped me on the shoulder before walking back into the bedroom to get dressed. I walked into the bathroom and stared at the shower in confusion. The idea of showering was, in theory, quite simple, yet somehow I wasn't quite sure what I was to do. I remembered that Dean had been wearing nothing but a towel when he had a shower, so I stripped my clothes off and wrapped a towel around myself before stepping into the shower. Admittedly, I was quite disappointed when the water didn't automatically come on upon my entrance, so I began looking around to see if I could find a way to operate it. After a few minutes of searching, I finally found the dial that you had to turn to start the water flowing. I turned this, and my skin was suddenly hit with pelts of burning hot water that was painful to touch. I cried out in pain and tried to dance away from the boiling hot water, but only succeeded in crashing into the wall and falling to the floor, the water still pelting me. I heard a soft knock at the door.  
"Uh, Castiel? You okay in there, man?"  
"I…I believe so." I replied, my voice uncertain.  
"Okay, I'm coming in." Dean warned me before opening the door and walking in. As soon as he saw me soaking wet and crumpled on the shower floor with a towel wrapped around my waist, he started laughing. I scowled at him.  
"This isn't funny, Dean."  
"It is."  
"No."  
"Do you want my help or not?"  
"Dean Winchester I am a being beyond your understanding. I do _not _need help getting a shower."  
"Alright, if you're sure." He said, still laughing. He turned to the door and I bit my lip.  
"Dean, wait." I sighed. Dean spun on his heel and leered at me.  
"Yes, oh angel of the Lord?"  
"Help me." I muttered.  
"Sorry, what was that?" Dean said. I scowled again.  
"Help me, Dean. Please."  
Dean laughed and pulled his shirt and jeans off, leaving him in just his boxers as he climbed into the shower with me.  
"Alright, Cas, stand up." He ordered. I got to my feet shakily, holding my towel close to me. He tried to take the towel away, but I grasped it tightly.  
"Cas, you don't shower with a towel on."  
"I'll be exposed to you."  
"Well, then, we'll be equal." Dean smiled. I reluctantly gave him my towel and he threw it away, seemingly un-phased by my nudity.  
"Geez, Cas, how hot do you want it?" Dean asked, turning the dial down so the water was pleasantly warm.  
"Okay, thank you, Dean. I think I have it now." I said, embarrassed. Dean smiled at me, a glint of mischief in his eyes.  
"Oh no, Castiel, I'm not risking another accident." He said, grabbing a bar of soap. He lathered the soap in his hands and rubbed them over my arms, across my stomach, down by back and around my legs. Each time he touched me was like a trail of fire from his fingertips and it made me shudder. I looked down and saw (much to my mortification) that I was semi-hard, and I prayed that Dean didn't notice.  
"Look, dude, no homo, but I need to wash… down there…don't get freaked." He said.  
"I can do it." I said quickly, because I knew what would happen if he touched me. Dean `stood closer to me than strictly necessary and smiled wolfishly, baring his teeth.  
"No, Castiel. This is for demonstration purposes." He purred. He walked forward until my back was to the wall, and I was surprised to feel his hardness against my leg. He kept eye contact as he took me in his hand and rubbed his soapy fingers along my shaft and around the head, touching every inch of my thoroughly. Pleasure raced through me at every touch, making my legs quiver.  
"D-Dean…" I stammered despite myself.  
"I know, Cas." He breathed, pressing his hips into my leg and grinding his erection against my thigh. I was almost painfully hard now and desperate for some kind of release. I put my hands on Dean's hips and moved his body so instead of grinding against my thigh, he was grinding his hips against mine. He didn't seem to mind the change as he buried his face into my shoulder, his wet hair dripping onto my chest. I moved my hands down so they rested softly on his ass and pushed him forward, desperate for his touch. I moved my hands back up to the waistband of his boxers and slid them down his legs, hearing him gasp as I did. He grunted as I wrapped my hand around him and started slowly pumping, running my other hand along his chest. He pressed his forehead against mine and whimpered.  
"_Castiel." _He moaned, and my cock twitched in response. He palmed my erection in time with my own hand moving against him.  
"Oh, shit, Cas, I want you. I want you so bad, babe."  
"I want you too." I choked.  
"Fuck me, Castiel. _Fuck me." _Dean begged, thrusting up into my fist. I thought back to my limited knowledge of sex (based mostly on videos Gabriel had shown me that included a pizza man and a babysitter) and repeated some of the phrases that I remembered, yet somehow, I wasn't just quoting, the words that came out of my mouth expressed real desires and feelings that Dean Winchester was making me feel.  
"I want to fuck you so hard, Dean."  
"Fuck me, Castiel. Castiel, please. Fuck me, baby." He begged, and I felt a shiver every time he said my full name. His voice sounded so desperate that for a moment I actually considered fucking him.

I didn't, though.  
Reality seemed to catch up with me and I took a step back, looking anywhere but at Dean.  
"I…we should…" I said, turning off the water and staring down at my feet. I peered up at Dean and saw his expression range from anger to sadness to disappointment and finally set in a cold, impassive mask. Dean shrugged.  
"Yeah, cool." He said, motioning for me to get out of the shower first. I collected my clothes, wrapped a towel around my waist and walked out of the bathroom without another word. I stopped Dean as he passed me in the hall.  
"Meet me outside in half an hour, okay?" I asked. Dean nodded and hurried into his room. Once in the confines of my bedroom, I flopped against the bed and sighed. I had never felt anything like that before in my life, yet now that I had, I couldn't see how I'd managed to live without it. I remembered Dean's hand around my cock, his erection pressing into my thigh, his moans and pleads for me to _just fuck him_. I whimpered slightly and slid my hand down under my towel. I bit my lip, debating for a moment before wrapping my hand around myself and moving steadily up and down, pretending that it was Dean touching me. I felt my stomach tense and I wrapped my towel around the head as I came. I nearly screamed Dean's name, but I bit my lip to stop the words from escaping, causing myself to draw blood. I used my grace to get rid of the towel and make myself dry as I changed into my clothes and walked downstairs, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. Dean was already sitting at the table when I approached him, his hair still wet and slicked back; I fought the urge to bite my lip at the sight. He looked up and smiled at me as if everything was normal.  
"I was gonna make breakfast, but I…uh, I'm not hungry." He murmured, a faint blush spreading over his cheeks, highlighting the faint freckles across his nose. I smiled.  
"That's fine, neither am I. Should we get to work then?" I asked. Dean raised an eyebrow.  
"The tests?" I reminded him. He put a hand to his forehead and stood up.  
"Right, of course. Okay. You gonna magic us up a little Pokemon training gym?" he laughed. I cocked my head to the side and squinted in confusion, making Dean laugh even harder and look at me sympathetically.  
"It's…nothing. Remind me to show you sometime."  
"I will. Now, where would you feel comfortable doing these tests?"  
"In my car." He replied, without a second of thought. I smiled and grabbed his hand.  
"Close your eyes." I said, and he complied. I closed mine too, felt a slight rushing sensation, and we were in Dean's car.  
"Y'know, Cas, we could have walked." He smirked. I glared at him.  
"Okay, Dean, these tests are going to be split into three categories: physical, mental and emotional. Is that okay?"  
"Sure, just tell me what I gotta do, Cas."  
_I could definitely think of a way to test his physical ability…_  
I shook the thought away and plastered a smile on my face.  
"Okay, the physical one we're going to have to do out of the car, so we'll do that one last. For the mental test, I'm going to have to see into your mind. Are you comfortable with this?"  
"You mean like, mind-reading?"  
"Exactly."  
"Then, no. I can't control my thoughts, Cas, I might think things that would…"  
"Would?" I said, prompting him, trying to show him an encouraging smile. He sighed.  
"It would make you think differently of me. Badly. Maybe you'd think I belonged in Hell, or you'd ask another angel to do this or-"  
"No, Dean. There are many reasons why that is unacceptable, the first being that if you belonged in Hell, it would not have been so easy to get you out. But most importantly, there is nothing you could show me that would make me think badly of you, and I'd rather die than have you belong to another angel."  
"I thought you were my angel." Dean said, his expression full of amusement.  
"I…I am…"  
"You made it sound more like I was your human."  
"You are…I am…oh, shut up Dean." I snapped. He laughed.  
"Okay, are you ready?"  
"Yes. I'm sorry, in advance."  
"Don't be." I smiled, before touching my fingers lightly to his forehead. I shut my eyes, and waited for Dean's thoughts to flash before my eyes.

_Dean was walking through a dark forest at night, completely naked save for Castiel's trench coat, which was dirty and covered in blood. The full moon shone brightly above him and illuminated his blood and dirt stained face, a fire in his green eyes. His grip tightened around the demon blade as he looked around him. There was complete silence, other than the sound of the trees lightly rustling in the wind and Dean's own steps and heartbeat. The silence was broken by heavy footsteps behind him, and Dean spun around to see a black-eyed Sam Winchester, smiling grimly at him.  
"Dean." He laughed. Dean felt the demon blade get hot in his hand.  
"Are you going to kill me, Dean? Just like you got Mom and Dad killed? Just like you kill everyone and everything you care about? Are you going to destroy me, too?"  
"Shut up." Dean said with his teeth bared.  
"He can't save you, Dean. Your pretty angel can't save you."  
"Yes he can. He told me."  
"He lied. He's lying to you, Dean. Right this second he's thinking about how low and pathetic you are. Dad's been in the pit for years, and you couldn't last a couple of months without ripping apart some poor, trapped soul. You're weak, Dean, and Castiel knows it."  
Dean started crying, not even bothering to wipe the tears from his face as they mingled with blood.  
"No, I believe in Castiel. He's my angel. He wouldn't lie to me."  
"Do you really believe that, Dean? He wishes he'd never brought you out of that pit and you know it."  
"No."  
"He's wasting his time. You'll never be okay." Sam sneered. The demon blade was absolutely burning in Dean's hand, and he stabbed Sam right in the chest with it.  
"I'm sorry." He choked. Sam only laughed.  
"Don't apologise to me. Apologise to your angel." He hissed.  
"Castiel." Dean sobbed, falling to the floor, his head in his hands.  
"Castiel, help me. Castiel, I need you." He sobbed. _

I took my hand away from Dean's head and looked at him in awe. His expression was impassive, which shocked me.  
"Did you think of that on purpose? To scare me?" I asked, my voice shaking. Dean looked disappointed.  
"No. I think of that all the time, constantly. It's always Sam, but he says different things each time."  
I put my hand on Dean's cheek and raised his face so he met my gaze.  
"Don't listen to him, Dean. Your parents' death was no fault of yours. I am not lying to you. I am _your _angel, and I'm not leaving you."  
Dean's face remained blank.  
"It's bad, isn't it, Castiel? It's really bad." He asked, his fear clear in his voice.  
"Yes, and no. It's worse than I thought, but it can be fixed. I can fix you. I _will _fix you."  
"I don't want to be fixed." Dean whispered.  
"Why?"  
"Because, I don't want to be _fixed_, I just want to be okay."  
"You will be, Dean. I promise."  
"I'm afraid, Castiel." He murmured. I ignored the voices in my head screaming at me not to as I held my arms out to him and cradled him against me, rocking gently.  
"It's okay, Dean, don't be scared. I'll fix you, baby. I'll fix you." I murmured.  
"Save me, Castiel."  
"I'm trying." I breathed. I don't know how long it was that we sat there before Dean pulled away from me and smiled softly.  
"So, uh, emotional test?" he asked. I chuckled.  
"Do you think we need to do it?"  
"I guess not. I'm pretty fucked up, huh?"  
"No, you're just scared." I assured him. He looked slightly uncomfortable, so I changed the subject.  
"Are you ready for the physical test?"  
"As ready as I'll ever be."

"So we're going to sword-fight." Dean said slowly, after I'd explained. I twirled the sword in my hand and smiled.  
"Yep. It's a good way to test reflexes and whatnot."  
"Don't you think that's a little bit biased, you know, because you're an angel?"  
"I suppose so. That just means that you'll have to be that much better to beat me." I said, poking my tongue out at him. He smirked at me and held his sword out. I made the first move, plunging forward and nearly stabbing him in the abdomen. After that, it was actually a pretty fair fight. Dean was a really good sword fighter, and it seemed that his time in Hell only improved his agility – though I tried not to think about that too much. The only reason why I won the fight, actually, was because I realized that the fight was going on for a while, so I mustered up my grace and managed to pin him to the floor. Dean looked vaguely annoyed and refused my hand to help him up, but I took it all in jest. We got into the house and he flopped onto the sofa and groaned.  
"That was draining." He sighed.  
"Want me to make you something?" I asked, leaning against the fridge. Dean beamed.  
"I could go for pizza actua-" he began, but the box was already on the table before he could finish.  
"You're great, Cas." He laughed, bringing the pizza box over to the sofa. I grabbed us both a beer and joined him.  
"I don't know what movie I wanna watch." He pouted. I used my grace to open my bottle (still being unable to open it any other way) and shrugged.  
"We watched cowboys last night, so no cowboys."  
"How about a good ol' horror?" he said. I bit my lip.  
"I don't want you getting nightmares again." I said, running a hand through my hair. Dean found a DVD and put it into the player, joining me on the sofa. He shrugged.  
"If I do, you can just angel-mojo it away, right?"  
"That would mean me having to run between your room and mine all night." I sighed. Dean peered up at me and smirked.  
"You know what the solution is, don't you?" he said, and I vaguely heard the pizza box fall on the floor before he was moving slightly closer to me, so our thighs brushed. My breath hitched at his husky tone, but I tried to remain nonchalant.  
"Uh, no?"  
Dean slid even closer to me, so he was practically on top of me. He leaned in close to me.  
"You're going to have to sleep with me." He breathed. My heart hammered in my chest. I didn't know whether I should look at his glowing, emerald eyes or his gently parted lips.  
_I wanted to kiss him so badly.  
_"I…I could. If it would make you feel better." I resolved, praying that he'd move away from me so he didn't notice the bulge in my jeans. Dean ran his hand up my thigh and smirked again.  
"It would. It would make me feel really _good_, Cas."  
I was silent.  
"I'll make you feel good, if you want."  
"Dean, I don't think-"  
"You don't want me, Cas?"  
"Dean this isn't appropriate."  
"I thought you said you were _my _angel, Castiel. Mine."  
He was practically crawling on me now, and I didn't care. I wanted him on me, I wanted him to touch me everywhere.  
But I couldn't let him do that. I knew how emotionally and mentally unstable he was, and to do anything would be to take advantage.  
"Dean, sit down." I said firmly. He looked disheartened, but did as I said, looking at me wide-eyed.  
"You really know how to embarrass a guy." Dean muttered, sliding away from me. I grabbed his hand and smiled.  
"Dean, please. I want you. I really _really _want you, but I would feel so bad if I ever did anything with you.  
"Why?"  
"Because you're not in a stable state right now, and I can't take advantage of that. But please, believe me when I say that I want you so badly, it almost hurts."  
Dean seemed to consider this for a moment before sliding closer to me and leaning his head against my chest.  
"That's okay, Cas." He sighed happily. I put my arm around his shoulders and pressed my cheek into the top of his head. I don't really think either of us were watching the movie, because I felt Dean's hand rubbing my thigh the whole time, and that's all I could think about, and by the look on his face, he knew exactly what he was doing to me. I sighed and leaned away from him, and felt him chuckle.  
"Sorry." He murmured, sitting up and plastering his eyes to the screen. I almost whined at the loss of contact, but managed to restrain myself, staring intently forward and not allowing my eyes to move even a fraction away from the screen. As soon as the last scene faded off the screen, I jumped to my feet.  
"Night, Dean." I murmured as I rushed out of the room.  
"Cas, wait!" Dean called. I groaned and turned around, trying to convey how tired I was of him through my expression.  
"I'm sorry." He said, looking awkwardly at the floor.  
"For what?"  
"I know that you're trying to be good and not mess with me while I'm fucked up, and I respect that. It's just so hard not to...touch you. You're driving me crazy, Cas."  
"I…don't understand. I'm not doing anything."  
"And that's exactly it. You're not doing anything. You're not giving in to me even though it's blatant how much you want to, and it's killing me."  
"I'm sorry-"  
"Don't apologise. You're doing the right thing here, Cas. I'm just…I don't know. I'll try to behave, though. If you want."  
"It'd be easier."  
"Okay, Cas. From now on, we're just friends."  
"Thank you, Dean." I said as I began climbing the stairs. I turned to walk into my bedroom when I reached the top, but Dean grabbed my arm.  
"You said you'd stay with me." He said, his eyes burning fiercely. Too tired to argue, I nodded and allowed Dean to lead me to the bedroom, his grip light on my hand. He pulled his shirt over his head and I looked up at the scar I left on his arm.  
"Dean?" I asked as I pulled my own shirt over my head and slid into bed with him.  
"What's up, Cas?"  
"That hand print on your arm. Does it hurt?" I asked, turning towards him. He chuckled and touched it lightly.  
"Nah. It's weird though."  
"Weird how?"  
"Like, right now, it's really warm, like the feeling you get in your stomach when you drink hot chocolate." He murmured. I did not know that feeling, but nodded anyway. By the smile on Dean's face, it must have been pleasant.  
"But then when we're not in the same room or whatever, it gets cooler."  
"That is rather peculiar." I murmured. I felt Dean's hand on my hip, but didn't move it. It felt nice and I liked it when he touched me like this, because I knew it had no secrets behind it. He wasn't asking anything of me, he was touching me so that he could feel my skin against his, and I liked the honesty and purity of it. I sighed and smiled, leaning closer into him and breathing in his scent.  
"You're adorable." He murmured, stroking my face delicately. I peered up and saw him looking at me in the most peculiar way, as if I were a rare jewel.  
"What?" I asked, unable to keep the smile out of my voice.  
"Cas, would you be completely against me doing something?"  
"Depends on what it is." I muttered.  
"I can't tell you. It'd ruin it."  
"Fine. Can I tell you to stop if I want you to?"  
"Of course."  
"Fine, then." I grumbled. Dean put his hand gently against my face and stroked it with his thumb, smiling fondly at me. My heart began to race as I realized his intentions. He placed his forehead against mine and smiled.  
"I'm nervous."  
"Don't be, Dean. Just go wherever you feel the pull. Like gravity."  
"Gravity." He breathed. I didn't move as he slowly brought his face towards mine.  
"Castiel…" he whispered softly, before placing his lips gently against mine. He was soft with his kissing, unsure. His hands fluttered to my hips and rested there softly, while my hands held onto his shoulders. I'd never had a kiss before, so I allowed Dean to move my mouth as he saw fit, his tongue flicking against mine as our mouths moulded together. His breath was heavy and hot against my lips as he gripped me harder, and I felt a tightness in my jeans.  
"Dean." I sighed against his mouth, pulling away. To my surprise, he blushed and gave me a sheepish grin.  
"Sorry, Cas. I got…carried away." He murmured, leaning in for another kiss. I let him peck me softly before giving him a firm but playful look. He smiled and ran his hand through my hair.  
"How was it?" I asked. He raised his eyebrows.  
"It was…amazing. Honestly, Cas, that was so…wow."  
"You were good too, I think. That was my first time." I admitted. Dean smiled and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head softly.  
"You're cute."  
"I'm tired."  
"Sleep, then."  
"Shut up, then."  
"Bitch."  
"Assbutt."  
Dean pulled away and raised his eyebrows at me.  
"Did you just call me an _assbutt_?" he said incredulously. I felt embarrassed and turned away from him, only to feel his arms snake around my torso. I sighed and leaned back into him, letting his gentle breaths soothe me until I fell asleep in my hunter's arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**Four: The In-between world.**

I was awoken the next morning by Dean writhing and whimpering against me, his chest heaving with heavy sobs. I turned over and wrapped my arms around him, before putting my fingers softly on his forehead to soothe him. His expression became blank and peaceful and his body lay still. I sighed and kissed his shoulder, tucking my head under his neck. The blankets were tangled around our legs, so I could clearly see the hard muscles that covered his chest and stomach. With a trembling hand, I ran my fingertips down his torso, and heard his breath hitch.  
"Cas." He sighed, his eyes still shut.  
"Good morning, Dean." I murmured, kissing him below his jaw. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, not saying a word. The silence was comfortable, the only noises being the sound of our breathing.  
"I like this." I sighed. Dean looked down at me, an eyebrow raised.  
"Me too."  
"I like _you_, Dean." I said with a smile as I leaned up to kiss him. He kissed me gently, and I could feel a smile twitching on his lips as he did. I completely melted into his touch and kissed him back, my hands around his waist, pulling him in close to me.  
"It's a bit early to get me so excited, Cas." Dean teased. A low growl escaped from my throat and I pulled my leg over Dean so I was straddling him.  
"Shit." He moaned as I grabbed the back of his head and forced his lips against mine, my lips moving roughly over his as I ground my hips down into his growing erection.  
"That's so hot, baby. So hot." He purred, gripping my hip and helping me keep a rhythm against him as he thrust softly up to me. I leaned down and pressed my lips to the soft skin of his neck and began sucking and biting gently. I could feel his racing heart beat against my lips and tongue as I swirled it into his skin.  
"Cas, fuck, _Cas._" Dean moaned. I pulled away from his neck and smiled softly at the small purple mark I left there. I grabbed his face and kissed him roughly.  
"You're _mine_, Dean Winchester. Mine." I growled. Dean moaned lightly  
"Fuck, yes, Cas. Baby I'm yours." He panted. I ground myself harder against him and he let out a cry of pleasure, his hands scratching down my back. I felt the sting of his nails biting into my flesh, but I arched my back into the touch – I wanted more. I leaned down and ran my tongue along his lips before catching the bottom one in between my teeth and pulling on it. Dean's hips jutted up roughly into mine, and I smirked. Dean sighed and smiled softly at me, his hips lying flat and unmoving.  
"What is it?" I asked. Dean cupped my cheek.  
"You're beautiful." He murmured. I blushed and looked away, making Dean chuckle.  
"Damn." He laughed. I tilted my head.  
"I…I hate chick-flicky moments. But with you, every second feels like I'm in a really cheesy romcom and I don't care."  
"I do not understand." I admitted. Dean shrugged.  
"It doesn't matter. You make me happy, okay?" He laughed. I leaned down and snuggled into his neck, feeling Dean's arms wrap tightly around me.  
"You make me happy too."  
"I know, Cas." He smiled, kissing my forehead.

Reality, in the form of Dean's grumbling stomach, dragged us back to reality.  
"You sound hungry." I chuckled, kissing his collarbones.  
"Maybe a little bit. I'd rather stay here, though." He sighed. I kissed his cheeks and rolled off of him.  
"Later, Dean. I promise."  
"Cas." Dean whined. I rolled my eyes and reached for my shirt, but Dean stopped me.  
"No, stay as you are." He said with a sharp wink. I rolled my eyes at him and began walking downstairs, figuring that Dean would come down whenever he felt like it.  
I could have gone through the time and effort to create a meal that would end up being barely-edible, but instead I used my grace to materialize some eggs and bacon which I served for both Dean and I. Luckily, the house came with a coffee maker, so I just turned it on and waited.  
Dean came downstairs while I was pouring the coffee and kissed me gently on the shoulder.  
"Thanks, babe." He murmured, sitting down in his seat and beginning to wolf down his breakfast. I put his coffee in front of him and slowly chewed my food, still not completely comfortable with the concept of eating.  
"So, what's the plan for today?" he asked, his mouth full of food.  
"The same tests as yesterday." I answered simply. Dean turned pale, and I held his hand.  
"Don't be afraid, Dean. I'm not leaving."  
"I know. It just feels weird knowing that someone else is in my brain." He laughed, trying to be nonchalant.  
"If it would make you more comfortable, I could project my own thoughts onto you as well, so we're equal." I suggested. Dean's face lit up.  
"Yeah, that'd make me feel better." He agreed. His foot gently rubbed against mine as we ate in almost complete silence.  
"I'm gonna shower." Dean announced when we were done. I nodded, but he put both his hands on my shoulders.  
"And by that, I mean come with me." He whispered, his voice husky. Goosebumps rose on my arms as I looked up at him. I groaned and kissed his chin.  
"Not now, Dean." I sighed. He pouted.  
"Why?"  
"I need to have my head clear while I test you." I explained, holding his hand. He kissed the top of my head and departed, and I laughed despite myself at how adorably childish he was.  
While Dean was showering, I tried to amuse myself by watching TV, but I couldn't pay attention and was relieved when Dean walked downstairs, wearing a tight-fitting grey t-shirt and jeans. He turned to me and gave me a half-smile, and I was struck by how attractive he really was. My breath hitched in my throat and I couldn't do anything but gape at him like an idiot. He didn't ask me what was going on, he didn't need to; the way I was looking at him told him exactly what I was thinking. He sat next to me on the sofa and held my face in both his hands, smiling gently while his green eyes danced. My heart gave a little squeeze as he kissed me gently, holding my face to his like he'd never get to kiss me again. Although maybe not the most passionate, it was the most intense kiss we'd shared thus far, and when we pulled away, my head was spinning.  
"You're perfect." I breathed. Dean chuckled throatily and kissed me again.  
"I'm not the angel, Cas." He teased.  
"We should get started." I sighed, sliding away from him. Dean groaned.  
"Fine: on one condition."  
"What?"  
"I get to poke around in your brain first." He said, wiggling his eyebrows. I sighed and shifted my weight uncomfortably.  
"Okay. Don't…judge me before you allow me an explanation." I said as a pre-warning. Dean rolled his eyes. I placed one hand on my forehead and the other on Dean's, and let my unconscious thoughts float over to him.

_Dean was sitting on the sofa, some distance away from Castiel, but the angel could still smell his distinctive perfume, and he breathed it in deeply. Dean was just watching a movie, but all Castiel could watch was him; the way his eyelids flickered when he blinked, the reflection of the TV on his irises, the small smirk frozen on his mouth, the way his bare chest heaved when he breathed. Dean noticed that Castiel was looking at him and reached over, taking his hand and smiling fondly.  
"You alright, Cas?" he asked. Castiel nodded, but continued to stare at Dean.  
"Do you want me to kiss you?" Dean asked, tilting his head slightly in confusion the way Castiel was known for doing. Cas shrugged.  
"Yes. And no. I like watching you, Dean." He murmured.  
"I like you watching me, too." Dean smiled. _

I couldn't even look at Dean when the sequence ended. I just sat with my eyes downcast until he grabbed my hand from across the table.  
"That was perfect, Castiel. I'm happy that that's what you think about." He said warmly. I got the courage to meet his gaze, and saw a smile crinkling the edges of his eyes.  
"I didn't know that would happen."  
"I'm glad it did. I like knowing that you're thinking about me."  
"Anyway. It's your turn." I said, glaring slightly. Dean paled but nodded, and I promptly put my fingers against his forehead.

_Dean was walking through a forest, naked and freezing cold. The moonlight shone on his emerald eyes, and all was silent. The silence was broken by Sam Winchester stepping out of the bushes in front of Dean, his eyes demonic.  
"Welcome home, Dean." He snarled. Dean's expression remained calm.  
"You think you can defeat me, Dean, but you can't. I'm in your head, I always will be. Every time you remember the screams and begs for mercy that you wrung out of your victims, I'll be there. Your little angel can't protect you." Sam snarled. Dean saw, out of the corner of his eye, his Impala parked in the trees, and he felt a burst of hope.  
"Not anymore, Sam. You're done. I'm not letting you take over me anymore."  
"Really? You don't seem convinced."  
Just then, Castiel stepped out of the bushes and wrapped his trenchcoat around Dean's naked body.  
"Leave, Demon." Castiel whispered, and black smoke exploded from Sam's mouth, leaving the boy crumpled on the floor._

I looked at Dean, mouth agape.  
"What…just…happened…" he mumbled, putting a hand to his head.  
"You freed yourself from hell. Completely and fully. You're Dean Winchester."  
"Wait, so…we're done?"  
"Yes, Dean. You can go home as soon as you wish." I said. My voice faltered slightly when I thought about Dean leaving me, but I didn't allow it to show in my expression.  
"That was fast."  
"In Earth time…we've been here for nearly two months." I said, chuckling at his bewildered expression. I got up from the table and meant to leave him to think, but he grabbed my arm.  
"You can choose the movie tonight." He said softly. I nodded in understanding and walked into the living room. I flicked through the DVDs and chose a Batman one (having recalled Dean mentioning that he liked him). I was about halfway through when Dean eventually joined me on the sofa. He pushed himself against me, wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face into my chest. I held him closely and stroked his hair, neither of us saying a word.  
"I can go home." I sighed. I smiled and kissed his head.  
"Whenever you want."  
"Will I…remember you? I know you said I wouldn't, but I wasn't sure if-"  
"No, Dean. You will not remember me or anything of this place."  
"Then I never want to leave." He murmured. I held his face so I was staring into his eyes, and fixed him with a stern glare.  
"No, Dean, I didn't save you for this. I saved you because the world needs you."  
"But _I _need _you_." He whimpered. I chuckled.  
"You won't remember me, though. It'll be painless."  
"What about you?"  
"Forgetting you will be impossible, but I will always make myself available to you and your brother, and I'll be praying for the day that you remember."  
"Can that happen?" Dean asked enthusiastically. I sighed.  
"No, it's almost impossible."  
"I don't want to leave you."  
"I know, but we'll still be friends."  
"This sounds like a break up." Dean moaned. I chuckled and kissed his nose.  
"It's not." I assured him. Dean put both his hands on my shoulders and pulled himself closer to me.  
"Kiss me." He sighed. I did as he asked, bringing his face close to mine and kissing him firmly and warmly, trying to express how much I wanted and needed him; how much I'd miss him. He responded with the same urgency, his hands sliding under my shirt and bringing it over my head. His lips left my mouth and instead kissed across my chest and stomach. I took this opportunity to take his shirt off and throw it next to mine on the floor. He smirked up at me and kissed me again, his lips soft and full of need against mine. He hugged me closely so every inch of our skin was touching, and it felt like he'd electrocuted me. Dean pushed me back slightly and crawled between my legs, kissing me while undoing my jeans. I slipped them off and I nearly blushed when I saw my erection poking through my boxers. Dean kissed the tip and I moaned. He carried on mouthing my boxers while he took off his own jeans and threw them away. He gave me a nervous-looking smirk, as if he was asking my permission. I smiled and rolled forward to kiss him.  
"Oh, _Cas_." He moaned into my mouth, and I gripped him harder, my tongue and lips working furiously against his, my whole body was vibrating. As we kissed, he grabbed the waistband of my boxers and tore them off, and I did the same to his. Both fully naked, we ravaged each other's mouths and necks, leaving love bites on every patch of skin we could reach. Dean pinned me down against the sofa, and I could have got off on the look in his eyes alone.  
"Fuck me, Cas. Fuck me now."  
"Dean." I moaned.  
"Please, Cas, I want it-want you so badly. I need you, Cas, fuck me." He said, grabbing his dick and moving his hand up and down.  
"Are you sure?" I asked, kissing across his jawline.  
"Yes." He almost screamed. I pushed him so he was on his back and raised his knees up to his chest.  
"This won't hurt, because of where we are. Anywhere else and we'd need to properly-"  
"Yeah, I know, Cas. Please do it." He groaned. I nervously lined myself up at his entrance and slowly pushed in, keeping my eyes glued to his face. When I got about halfway in, his face distorted into a mask of pure pleasure, and an animalistic growl escaped his chest.  
"More, Cas. All of it." He mumbled, pushing himself back onto me. I kept going until I was all the way in.  
"I can't believe we're doing this." Dean said, a mischievous smile on his face. I leaned down and kissed him.  
"I can." I smirked, and began moving myself in and out of him, going harder or faster as he commanded. His nails bit into my back and I could feel the blood trickling down my skin, but I didn't care.  
"Dean, baby. Oh, wow, _Dean._" I moaned into his ear. He tightened his arms around me and kissed my shoulders.  
"I know, Castiel, I know, baby. Aw, you're making me feel so good, Cas. You're gonna take care of me, aren't you babe?"  
"Always."  
"You won't – _fuck – _you won't ever leave me?"  
"Never."  
A few more thrusts and I was done. I held Dean tightly in my arms as I orgasmed inside him. I felt weak and breathless, but still I wrapped my hand around Dean's cock and pumped it until he came over my hand. I pulled out of him and collapsed in his arms, both of us breathing heavily. I leaned up and kissed him, smiling as I did. I looked into his eyes and sighed, stroking his cheek. He buried his face into my hair and sighed before meeting my gaze again and kissing me softly.  
"I love you." I sighed. I hadn't meant to say it out loud, and from Dean's expression, he certainly wasn't expecting it. He was looking at me with a wide-eyed kind of wonder, and I felt myself blush.  
"You love me?" he breathed. I kissed his jaw.  
"I love you."  
"I love you, too, Cas." He said, leaning down to press his lips to mine again.  
"I want you to promise me something, Dean." I said, trying to look serious. Dean smiled.  
"Mm?"  
"I know you won't remember any of this, but I want you to promise me that you will try to remember that you're mine. You're my hunter."  
"I promise. Even if I don't remember it, I'm yours." He said with a sad smile. We were quiet for a moment, before Dean spoke again.  
"I think we'll be okay, you know. I know I won't remember you, but when we meet again, I think I'll be able to fall in love with you again. Being with you is easy, it feels right, like I'm being lead to you. It's like-"  
"Gravity." I finished, smiling. He snuggled into my arms.  
"Exactly. Gravity." He agreed.  
"Can we sleep here? I don't want to move. It would ruin it." He asked suddenly. I sighed and tightened my grip around him.  
"Of course, Dean."  
"I love you so much, Castiel."  
"I love you too, Dean. More than anything."  
"Don't ever leave me."  
"I won't. I can't. You can't fight gravity, Dean." I teased. He gave me one last sleepy kiss before falling asleep in my arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Five: The in-between world.**

My body ached when I woke up, but I didn't pay too much attention to it due to Dean laying peacefully across me, still asleep. I kissed his head and stroked his hair, sighing. I knew he'd have to go back soon, to the real world. The thought filled me with a sickness that made my stomach drop and my heart feel like it would fall out, and I had to hug him close to me to remind me that he was still there. My name slipped out of his lips as he slept and I smiled, tears filling my eyes as I was once again struck with how much I was in love with him, and how much I needed him.  
"You're perfect." I whispered to him as he slept.  
"You're perfect and amazing and wonderful. I know that you don't think you deserve to be saved, but you do, and I'm grateful, and will forever be grateful, that I was the one who saved you, because you saved me too, Dean. I was once compliant and ready to do whatever was asked of me, but now I don't care about following rules, all I want is you. Forever. I'll come back to you when I think you're ready, and maybe you'll start to remember, and maybe you never will. The important thing is that I won't ever forget you, and I will always love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." I said, choking on my tears as I whispered the last part. I rocked Dean's sleeping form in my arms as I spoke, and the heaving of my chest as I sobbed shook his head slightly. I stroked over the hand-shaped scar on his arm and smiled weakly. I had once worried that I had scarred him forever, and now I was praying that I had, because at least that way, I'd always be a part of him.  
"Cas?" Dean said wearily, stroking my face. I sniffed and smiled down at him.  
"Hey, baby."  
"Why are you crying?" he asked, sitting up. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his shoulder as I cried. This time, it was his turn to rock me as I sobbed into him.  
"Shh, it's okay Castiel. Don't cry, Cas, I love you, don't cry." Dean pleaded.  
"You're going to forget me. I'm so scared, Dean, I don't want you to forget me." I whispered. He kissed my face over and over, tears trickling out of his own eyes.  
"I'm gonna try to remember, Cas. I don't want to forget, either; you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'd rather die than forget you."  
"But you _will._ It's just how these things work."  
"Remember what I said yesterday? No matter what, I'm yours. Even if I never see you again, or if I hate you when we next meet, I will be yours always. Once I go back, there's nothing I can do, but you need to stay strong for me – for us – and remember that I'm yours."  
"I love you."  
"I know, baby, I know." He sighed. I stopped crying and pulled away, dabbing my eyes awkwardly – it was unlike me to cry, and I felt suddenly vulnerable and weak because of it. Dean evidently noticed the change, because he moved away from me and turned the TV on, watching some mindless show that I knew he wasn't interested in.  
"Damn, Cas, any way of getting some better channels?" he asked. I chuckled.  
"I assume so. Anything in particular?"  
"Dr. Se - no. Nothing."  
"Dr. What?"  
"Sexy." Dean grumbled, blushing. I barked a laugh and he threw a pillow at me, sulking.  
"I have heard of that show. I hear it's very popular with…women…" I snickered. Dean glared at me.  
"Guys can like Dr. Sexy too. There's girls there."  
"That's not why you watch it though, is it?" I teased, wiggling my eyebrows.  
"Maybe it is."  
"It's not."  
"Why do you assume that?" he asked, his tone playful.  
"Because you like dick too much." I said simply. Dean looked shocked and I blushed, unsure if I'd said it properly (Gabriel had previously told me that this was a good line to pick up females, and I assumed it would work on men who liked men too).  
"Again, why do you assume that?" Dean asked, his voice huskier, but still light. I slid slightly closer to him and let my hand run up his naked thigh, his breath hitching as I reached his waist.  
"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong." I sighed and pulled my hand away. Dean whimpered and slid closer to me, putting his hands on my thigh. I tried my best to look disinterested as he rubbed my legs and stomach, and even as he wrapped his hand around my shaft. He began pumping me slowly, but I kept my eyes fixed on the TV.  
"Dammit, Cas." Dean said gruffly, throwing himself on the floor between my legs. He blew lightly on my cock and I shivered, forgetting that I was meant to be ignoring him.  
"Is that how to get your attention, then?" he challenged, his eyebrow raised. I rolled my eyes and turned the channel over, still trying not to look like I was phased even though I was almost painfully hard. Dean licked the tip gently, massaging it in circles with his tongue. I couldn't hold back the whimper that escaped my lips at the feeling of it, and Dean smirked.  
"Fuck you." I panted. He laughed.  
"No, that'll be later." He purred with a wink. I groaned and let my head fall back against the sofa as Dean took me all the way into his mouth, his tongue swirling around.  
"Wow." I breathed, gripping Dean's short hair in both my hands as I jerked my hips into his mouth. He moaned and it sent vibrations through my body, making me shiver again.  
"You look really sexy down there on your knees, Dean." I said, stroking his hair with one hand while gripping it tightly with the other. He looked up and met my gaze with his piercing green eyes and my heart faltered.  
"Dean, I need to fuck you _now." _I growled, surprising myself. Dean pulled away quickly and nodded.  
"Please." He breathed. He put his leg over both of mine and I held his hips, gently guiding him down onto me. We both gasped as I entered him and Dean chuckled lightly, wrapping his arms around my neck. I kept my hands on his hips as I thrust into him, making him bounce against me.  
"I like this." Dean sighed, kissing me gently. I kissed him back, my tongue flicking between his lips and sliding along his own tongue as he continued to bounce against me, his breath hot and heavy on my parted lips. He put his forehead against mine and bunched his hands in my hair.  
"I love you, Castiel." He murmured. I kissed along his jaw and down his neck, stopping to nip lightly at his collar bones.  
"I love you too." I hummed into his chest. I held him tightly to him as we rocked together, his heart beating rapidly against my fingers and his green eyes staring into mine. I felt an orgasm pooling in my stomach and I kissed Dean roughly, biting his lips occasionally. When I came, I held onto the back of his neck and stared into his eyes.  
"oh, _fuck._ I love you. I love you. Fuck, Dean, baby, I love you." I shouted as I finished inside him. We remained like that for some time, kissing each other softly and sensually, our fingertips brushing over each other's skin.  
"I have a question." Dean said suddenly, pulling away from me. I nodded for him to continue.  
"Why do you tell me you love me so much? I don't mind, because I love you, too, but it seems like you feel like you have to say it to me. Why?" he asked. I sighed.  
"I want to tell you now because I know I won't always be able to. There will be a time – very soon, actually, where I won't be able to just kiss you and tell you I love you, so I want to do it now while I still can."  
"I thought as much." Dean said sadly. I kissed his shoulder and smiled.  
"Let's not talk about it, okay?"  
"Okay." He agreed with a smile. I helped him off of me and we both winced in pain before grinning at each other.  
"I'm going to get changed, okay?" he asked. I got to my feet and nodded.  
"Yeah, I think I should, too." I replied. We trudged up the stairs and into the bedroom that we now shared, pulling our clothes on. I was about to say something to Dean, but when I turned around he was looking intensely at something in his hand.  
"Dean? Are you okay?" I asked. He shook his head. I took a wary step closer and put my hand on his shoulder.  
"What is it?"  
He held his hand opened, revealing a necklace with a small golden head charm on it.  
"What's that?"  
"My Samulet." He chuckled, putting it around his neck. I sat down next to him and waited for him to talk.  
"Sammy gave it to me one Christmas, years ago, and I've worn it ever since."  
"That is nice."  
"I miss him, Cas." Dean said, turning to me with tears in his eyes. I wrapped an arm around his shoulder.  
"I know you do." Is all I could say.  
"I want to go back to him and Bobby. Tell 'em that I'm okay and that they don't need to worry anymore but I don't want to leave you. I _can't _leave you, Cas. I don't want to have to choose between my little brother and the guy who might as well be my Dad, and the only person I've ever loved."  
I swallowed a lump in my throat before replying.  
"You don't need to choose. If you go back, you'll have all of us."  
"I won't remember you."  
"But I'll still be your Castiel. You won't even know that you're missing anything."  
"But I will be missing something whether I know it or not."  
"Very true. But you have to go back, Dean."  
"I fucking _know _that, Cas. I'm not stupid, I know I have to go back, I just don't want to leave you." He snapped, pushing my arm off his shoulder.  
"Then what is the problem?"  
"The problem is that I don't want to forget you and how much I love you right now. I don't want to look into your eyes and not feel anything while you're still getting butterflies. I don't want to fucking forget."  
"There's nothing I can do." I said quietly. Dean jumped to his feet and punched the wall, cutting his knuckles.  
"Yes there fucking is. You promised you'd fix me, so fix me. I may not be fucked up anymore, but I'll be just as broken without you, and don't give me any of that 'I'll still be yours' bullshit, because how the fuck can that comfort me if I won't even _remember _it. When I meet you again, it will be like two strangers, and I won't feel a thing. Is that okay with you, Cas? _ I won't fucking love you anymore. _I literally won't know who you are, and you're going to have this huge fucking hole in your chest and you're going to feel sick and it's going to be my fault."  
"Dean, stop." I whispered, tears falling down my cheeks.  
"No, it's the truth. What's the point in me loving you and wanting to be yours forever if I'm going to forget all of this? I won't even remember you bringing me back from Hell."  
"I'm sorry."  
"No you're not. You didn't think any of this through, did you? You should have got another angel to do this, because you can't."  
"Dean." I sobbed, unable to stop my crying and not even caring that I looked weak.  
"Just, don't, okay, Cas? I can't do this anymore – it hurts too much. If we end this now, maybe it won't hurt so much when we're forced to end it."  
"I…don't understand."  
"Under normal circumstances, I'd say that I was breaking up with you."  
"Dean, I-"  
"I'll be in my car." He snapped and stormed out of the room. I heard the front door crash shut a few moments later, but couldn't find it in me to respond to the noise. Instead, I laid down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and cried. I wasn't crying because of what Dean said, because I knew he was only saying it because he was scared; I was crying because of what I'd have to do next.

I approached Dean's car slowly and knocked on the window. He turned off the music and rolled down the window, looking at me cautiously, like he didn't know how to approach me.  
"What's up?" he asked.  
"May I come in?"  
"Uh, yeah." He muttered. I slid in the passenger seat and looked at him for a moment, trying to gauge his emotions.  
"I'm sorry, Cas. I didn't mean anything I said I'm just…scared and frustrated and I love you so much."  
"I know, Dean. It's okay. I'm not mad." I replied, holding his hand. He looked relieved, yet still reserved.  
"Dean, we need to talk." I sighed. Dean closed his eyes and nodded – he'd been expecting this.  
"I don't ever want you to leave me, and seeing you in the real world while you have no idea who I am will hurt, but I have faith that everything will work out for us, and even if it doesn't, I will always be your guardian angel."  
"You will come back to me, though, right? I mean, I will meet you again?"  
"Of course. I will do everything in my power to meet you again on Earth."  
"Will it hurt you?"  
"Yes. But I know that this is best for you, and it makes it okay."  
"Is there any chance of me remembering this?"  
"No. The only way for you to remember is if an archangel requests it to be so, and I think they have better uses of their time than to restore Dean Winchester's memory so that he remembers falling in love with an angel." I chuckled. Dean smiled and leaned in to kiss me.  
"I love you, Castiel."  
"I love you too." I whispered, fighting tears. Dean wiped his own eyes and gave me a watery smile.  
"I don't want to cry now because it will ruin the whole goodbye thing."  
"It's okay, you can cry. I'll cry when you leave."  
"Shit, Cas." He chuckled through his tears. I enveloped him in my arms and kissed his head as he cried into my shoulder.  
"It's okay, honey. Your angel is here. I'll always be here. I love you more than all you know. I love you more than children, more than fields I've planted with my own hands. I love you more than morning prayers or peace or food to eat. I love you more than sunlight, more than flesh or joy, or one more day. I love you…more than God."***** I whispered to him gently. He kissed my face and my arms and every bit of me that he could reach with his mouth.  
"I love you. I love you. I love you. Castiel, I love you." He said urgently.  
"I know. I'll always remember that, even if you don't." I laughed, wiping his tears. He smiled weakly.  
"It's time to go, isn't it?" he asked.  
"Yes. You must leave me now and go back to your brother."  
"I love you."  
"I love you too. I always will."  
Dean kissed me gently and I tasted his tears.  
"Goodbye, Dean Winchester." I sighed, letting my tears slip down my cheeks. He held my hand.  
"Goodbye, Cas." He sobbed. I pressed my two fingers to his forehead and, with a bright flash of light, Dean was gone.

I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I wanted to run away. I wanted to die. I knew that, before I did anything, there was one last thing I had to do.  
I stepped out of the car and closed my eyes, whispering softly in enochian four simple words that filled my heart with such joy yet such sadness:  
_Dean Winchester is saved. _

_* = _**Quoted from Audrey Hepburn in Robin and Marian.**


	6. Chapter 6

**OCTOBER 2013. **

_"I have died every day waiting for you.  
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you  
For a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more."_

**Six: Kansas. **

I gasped as I hit the ground, my heart beating fast.  
"Dean…where's Dean…" I groaned, sitting up and rubbing my back. The last thing I remembered was Metatron telling me the truth about the trials he'd had me complete, and then nothing. Blackness. The thing I noticed the most, though, was that I felt ultimately _human_. It'd been five years since Dean had left me in the in-between world. When I'd first encountered him on Earth a month or so later, it had been more painful than I'd imagined. He didn't know who I was, and looked at me with a blank, confused expression. There was no warmth behind his emerald eyes, and he apprehended me as if I were a creature that he was supposed to hunt. The worst part, of course, had been when he'd stabbed me. Although the knife itself didn't hurt, the fact that he'd tried to stab me did. Even when I said my name, he didn't recognize me. I'd expected it, of course, but somehow I always thought that he'd be able to burst through that and remember me. I dragged myself to my feet and stumbled along the path that I could only see in the light of the moon. I was happy that Dean and I had become quite close as of recent, though. Both of us recognized the fact that we shared a profound bond, which, to me, was some source of hope for us. Sometimes there were things that Dean said, or certain ways that he'd look at me that made me think that he was remembering how he felt about me, but it would be followed by a joke or a sarcastic comment that shattered the illusion. The pain of losing Dean hadn't faded, but I'd gotten used to it, and I found it easier to interact with him. I liked Sam, too. Of course, we weren't as close as Dean and I, but Sam was fun to talk to and even sometimes – unwittingly – helped me to forget about Dean for a little while.

I kept walking, though my feet felt heavy. I wasn't quite sure where I was going, but I was hoping that I'd hear from either Sam or Dean soon and they'd instruct me on where to go. In the meantime, I remembered the arguments that Dean and I had gotten in, where I had genuinely thought he hated me, only to have him forgive me a few days later, once his temper had subsided. I remembered throwing him against the wall and beating him up for almost saying yes to Michael, because I couldn't bear losing him twice. I remembered when Naomi brainwashed me and forced me to nearly kill him, and how, even when I was trying to kill him, he still tried to talk to me rather than fight back, and he told me he needed me. That's what snapped me out of my stupor. Dean had told me many, many times before that we were family, but not as often that he needed me, and when he said that, it rekindled my hope.

I heard a faint buzz in my pocket and retrieved my phone from my trench coat pocket. I was still unsure as to how to use my phone, but Dean had taught me the basics and that was good enough for me.  
"Hello?"  
"Cas? Dammit, where are you?" Dean barked. My heart swelled at his voice, and a smile spread across my face despite my situation.  
"I don't know…"  
"Can you zap yourself here?"  
"No, I do not think I can."  
"So you've lost your angel mojo?"  
"I think so."  
"That's…wow, Cas, that's bad."  
"I know. What shall I do?"  
"Okay, keep walking until you see a building or something, and then tell me where you are and I'll come get you. Understand?"  
"I do. How is Sam?"  
"He's…he's gonna be okay, I think. I'll see you soon."  
I hung up and ran a hand through my hair, sighing. I trudged along the pathway until, as Dean instructed, I saw a small café by the road. I slipped inside and texted Dean the address before sitting down in one of the booths. A waitress approached me with a large smile.  
"Heya, you okay? She asked. I smiled.  
"Yes, I am fine, thank you."  
"Would you like anything?"  
"Just a coffee, please." I said. She nodded and walked away, her stilettos clicking on the linoleum floor as she walked away. I realized that Dean would be joining me, so when she laid my coffee down, I ordered a slice of apple pie. Dean arrived shortly after she put the pie down and I was halfway through my coffee. I nodded as he sat down and started eating the pie, not saying a word to me. Once he'd finished, he wiped his mouth and smiled almost shyly at me.  
"Thanks, Cas. Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes full of concern. I shrugged and ran a hand through my hair.  
"I really don't know. My grace is gone, I can feel it."  
"Even if it wasn't, it wouldn't matter."  
"What do you mean?"  
"The angels have fallen, Castiel. Heaven is empty." He said solemnly. My heart dropped at his words, and I felt a huge amount of compassion for my fallen brothers and sisters.  
"Metatron must have removed my grace." I sighed. Dean shifted uncomfortably.  
"He did…"  
"But?"  
"But I got it back." Dean smiled, pointing to a chain around his neck with a tiny bottle on the end, containing blue wisps of air.  
"Do you want it?" he asked, lifting it off his head. I shook my head lightly, smiling at him.  
"No, you keep it. I don't need it, and I know you'll take care of it. " Dean nodded and tucked the bottle back into his shirt, his skin slightly reddened _almost as if he were blushing.  
_We remained in the café for a few more moments before Dean dropped some money onto the table to pay for the coffee and pie and we left. Dean held my door open to me and helped me into the Impala, despite my insisting that I was alright and could do it myself. We drove mostly in silence with the radio playing softly.  
"Are you and Sam staying in the bunker?"  
"No, we're in a motel, not far from here. I wanted to go back to the bunker, but he was so injured that I didn't think he'd make the drive. Sam's sleeping already, so I guess I'll crash on the sofa if you wanna take the spare bed." He said.  
"I can get my own room." I sighed. I knew that if I stayed in the same room as Dean, I'd be too tempted to touch him while he slept, and that could be uncomfortable.  
"Sure, if that would make you comfortable."  
"It would." I replied curtly. The rest of the short car journey was spent in silence. We arrived at the motel and Dean leapt out of the car and ran into the room, which I wasn't offended by because I understood that he wanted to see how Sam was. I followed him in and saw him leaning over Sam's sleeping form, checking his wounds.  
"Is he alright?" I asked. Dean nodded, looking reassured.  
"He's fine, thank you. C'mon, I'll help you sort out your room." He smiled. Dean booked my room for me and helped me get settled in (by that I mean he ordered pie on room service and watched batman with me).  
"We're friends, aren't we Cas?" Dean asked suddenly. I swallowed hard.  
"Yeah, why?"  
"We fight a lot, and I know you don't really trust me that much-"  
"I trust you with my life."  
"I know that, but sometimes I know we're not as close as we could be, but you're my family and I'll never let you down, if I can help it."  
"I know that, Dean. Really, it's fine."  
"Good." He grumbled, eating more pie. I rolled my eyes and lay back on the pillow, trying to clear my head. Being human felt a lot different to being an angel, and I knew that it would take some time to get used to. Dean laid down on the pillow next to me.  
"Do you mind me resting here?"  
"Not at all, I replied."  
"Thanks. It's been busy, you know?"  
"I know. You can spend as much time here as you want." I sighed, rolling onto my side so I was facing away from Dean. He mumbled something sleepily as a reply, and soon he was lightly snoring against the pillow. I thought that I wouldn't be able to think because of how cluttered my brain was, but with Dean's gentle breathing and intoxicating smell, I was able to fall asleep quite quickly and pretended that we were back in our little world, and that when I woke up I'd be able to kiss him.

"Oh my God. Oh my _God. NO. _CAS." Dean screamed. I sat up quickly and gripped his arm.  
"Dean! Dean, I'm here. Dean what's wrong!?" I cried, shaking him gently. He looked at me blankly before bursting into tears, doubling over as if in pain.  
"What's wrong Dean, is it the nightmares? What's wrong, tell me what's wrong!"  
He didn't reply, he just kept crying violently, his whole frame shaking. I sighed and pulled him into my arms, holding him against my chest as he sobbed. He grasped at my clothes and pulled my closer, whispering my name between sobs.  
"Cas I-"  
"What? What is it, Dean?" I asked. He pulled away slightly and looked at me in the eyes. There was a familiar warmth in them as he said the two words that I had been waiting to hear.  
"_I remember."_

I kissed him. I kissed him like my life depended on it, and he kissed me back. His hand ran through my hair and held me to him as our tears mixed with each other.  
"I love you." I whispered urgently.  
"I love you too, Castiel. I love you. We did it, baby, we did it. I remember."  
"I was so afraid. I thought I'd lost you, and it was so hard pretending that I didn't care, but I did. I prayed every day that you'd remember me."  
"It doesn't matter now, baby, I'm back. I'm here. I told you I'd never leave. I love you and I always will. You're my baby. I love you, so much."  
"I love you too. I love you." I choked out.  
"Why am I remembering? I thought it was only an archangel that could do it." He mumbled, looking confused. I kissed him again and he smiled.  
"Gravity, baby." I laughed. Dean chuckled and kissed my arms, chest, neck and face as if he hadn't seen me in a thousand years. Eventually, we laid down and Dean snuggled in my arms.  
"Do you think I'll remember you still in the morning?" he asked, his voice shaking. I kissed his forehead gently.  
"Maybe, maybe not. Don't think about it. For now, just remember that you're lying in my arms again, and that we've waited five years for this."  
"I love you."  
"I love you too."

The next morning, I woke up with Dean wrapped tightly around me. His green eyes met mine and he kissed me softly, his hands grasping my shirt as I wrapped my arms around his waist.  
"I'm so lucky." I smiled. He touched my face lightly with his fingertips.  
"I know you are." He teased. I rolled my eyes and kissed him again. I knew that all the angels of heaven had just fallen and that Sam was in the next room in pain, but for the moment, everything was perfect because I was in my Dean's arms.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too. Always."


End file.
